How to Love Yourself Better
Show of hands, who all struggles with self-love, confidence, feeling empowered? All of you? Yeah, I do too. Everyone does in some way. Except two weeks ago I thought I was doing a really good job at combating/changing that. I’d started treating myself better and realizing I can be too self deprecating sometimes. I mean, I say sorry even if I’m the one that got screwed over. I am so terrified to hurt anyone's feelings or step on toes (unless someone makes me angry…angry redheaded cajuns are scary y’all). I felt like I was doing great! And then I watched a class online that Sue Bryce (brilliant, inspirational, badass business woman) was teaching and I realized that we always have room to grow and we often don’t realize where we need growth.
She asked if we felt confident/worthy enough to service her (whatever our service was). I said no, of course not! Because she's so brilliant and known world-wide. Why would I be worthy of photographing her? And then she basically owned us all and lit a fire under my ass. She said if we said no, then we just degraded ourselves and said she was better, more important, and more worthy of a human than us. And she added that no human can be above another. We decide our importance not others! So, I just decided I wasn’t all that important or valuable. And, frankly, that is BS.
I was genuinely shocked to learn that I felt this way about myself. I feel damn confident in who I am as a person and my body. I have always been confident in that area, and I thought I was a confident business woman. And, if we’re talking about people that aren’t known world-wide, then hell yeah I am. You ladies have all confirmed it by telling me how much I have helped you.
But, people that are ‘celebrities’, if you will, I’m afraid will scoff at me. Because they’ve met so many people in the world, how could I compete?
Well, why the hell couldn’t I compete??? There is only one Kimberly Rachèl Aker in the world. One person that is just like me. So, of course I am valuable and worthy! I can’t actually list one reason why I am not worthy of these people’s time or worthy of photographing them. I have worked very hard for years to be a good photographer and I’ve spent my entire life pretty much learning how to help women love themselves and learning about psychology behind behavior so I could help! So, again, why am I not worthy???
You, now it’s your turn! Go through these steps to identify how you can love yourself better!
What do you feel not worthy to do? Dig deep and think about the past week of encounters and when you reacted in a way that conveyed that you didn’t feel worthy. Was it when someone simply held open a door and you apologized 400 times for existing? Or was it when someone complimented you on your ability in your job and you felt totally unworthy and told them all the ways you suck? Are you terrified to take the next step in your health because you might fail? Do you feel unworthy of taking care of yourself?
Why? Why the hell would you ever feel unworthy? Let’s really dig deep here. Sit and silently work through what you were feeling when you felt unworthy and where those feelings may stem from.
How can you start working to change the ways you feel unworthy? I cannot completely answer this for you without speaking with you personally, but I can tell you one sure way is to watch how you talk about yourself, out loud and in your head. The way you speak shapes how you think. If you speak horrible things about yourself, you will think horrible things about yourself. What are other ways you can change your own thinking about yourself?
Please, let me know your answers and how this helped you today! As well as how you are already working to change the way you treat yourself?
You have just as much worth in your body and soul as any other human. No one owns you! You own your thinking and how you treat yourself and let others treat you. So, treat yourself kindly and don’t allow yourself to be destroyed by anyone else or yourself. Again, I beg of you, do not destroy yourself with negative and self-hating thoughts!
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